Did I Ask?

I find that EVERYONE and their cat has an opinion about what you SHOULD do when you’re pregnant or a new parent. This is why my husband and I didn’t want to share with people that we were expecting, because we knew people were going to have opinions and we honestly didn’t want to hear them.

I’m very much the type of person that if I need help or want someone else’s knowledge on something, I will ask for it, so people just giving unsolicited advice irks me.

Now, as much as I appreciate and respect previous generations, I find that they are the people more likely to provide their thoughts and opinions when it comes to how children should be raised.

One I often hear is “it’s okay to let them cry it out”. This is one that doesn’t jive with me personally. I don’t want to let my daughter cry it out, so I won’t, and that is my decision as the mother. I think what would be better here is “IF YOU WANT TO…it’s okay to let them cry it out”. For me, changing the statement to that gives more ownership to the parent rather than whoever is trying to tell you how to raise your child.

I was at the eye doctor the other day, and I felt like he was asking unnecessary questions about my daughter’s sleep, where she sleeps, etc. When he asked if she sleeps in the same room or separate as me, I answered honestly with the same room. He almost seemed offended by this. As if MY and my daughter’s sleeping habits affect him. He said something along the lines of “oh is that what they tell you to do now?”. So just another opinion that I didn’t ask for, and someone trying to tell me how I “should” raise my child.

The last opinion that really bothers me is about what I choose to feed my child. We have had family members tell us that she NEEDS to have pablum. She was 4 months old at this time and was growing amazingly with my breastmilk, so NO. She doesn’t need pablum, thank you very much. I will choose what to feed my child and when. Which, speaking of, I have really enjoyed and relied on the “Solid Starts” app. So IF YOU WANT, check that out.

My counselor once told me “don’t SHOULD all over yourself”, which I think is relevant to this as well. Others need to stop “SHOULDING” all over mothers, too.

Remember, mama, you are doing a great job and it is your choice whether you listen to other’s opinions of how to raise your child or not.

What is one piece of advice that someone gave you that you did not ask for and didn’t appreciate?