Can I Hold Your Baby?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that…I’d be rich.

I understand when people visit when you have a new baby, they all want to hold the baby. At first, I was a bit wary about it and didn’t want many people holding my girl. With COVID (and really all the other colds/flus) and babies’ immune systems not being so strong, I was worried that she would get sick easily. So I didn’t let too many people hold her at first. We also didn’t have a baby shower after baby, because I despised the thought of having her passed around from person to person. I felt that if people wanted to see her, they could come meet her individually. This way, too, they get more personal time with her and it’s more meaningful in my opinion.

A couple weeks after she was born, we had a celebration of life to go to for my husband’s brother. Having people hold her there was quite a bone of contention between my husband and I, but ultimately I made the call. I expressed to him that I felt uncomfortable with having people hold her there, especially because I didn't really know or hadn't met some people before, so I felt these people didn’t have a right to hold my baby. I also felt like it would be ‘unfair’ if I let some people hold her and not others, and that if people were holding her it would become more about her than the celebration of life. Or what if I pass her to someone who I’m okay with holding her and then they pass her to someone I don’t even know?! We agreed to keep her in her car seat while we were at the cemetery, and then at the luncheon…cue the Boba wrap! What a helpful little thing that is. I just wrapped her on me and that’s where she stayed. Looking back on this experience, I am thankful that I stuck with my initial gut feeling of not letting anyone hold her that day, because the people who really matter in her life have come to see her personally to be able to hold her.

As the mother, YOU get to choose who holds your baby, for how long, and how often.

Whether you let everyone hold your baby, only some people, or just you/your partner, you are doing what is right for your family and you are doing an amazing job, mama!